Three Dimensions Theory

Yaniv and I just had a chat, trying to recall some our theories that we've been meaning to collect and put in a book. I couldn't remember any of the things we had discussed, but he remembered two, one of which he attributed to me: The Theory of Three Dimensions. The other is the Yawn Theory, which I'm sure he'll be posting just as soon as he finds some free time. (Good luck with that audition.)

Before I begin my postulation, I want to relate a discussion Yaniv and I had about censorship. Essentially, I said the Theory of Three Dimensions wasn't really appropriate for our college educated minds, having been conceived in the days of yore, when we were still in high school. He said we couldn't begin our blog by censoring ourselves, or something a little more eloquent, so here we are. Any criticism of this theory should be directed to Yaniv Segal, who lives in Yonkers.

The theory holds that girls have three dimensions. They can be either smart, attractive, or nice. You can pick any two, but not all three.

The initial reaction from women is one of three things: 1) That isn't true, I'm smart, nice and attractive; 2) That isn't true, my friend (insert name here) is smart, nice and attractive; or 3) oh my god, that is so true.

The quick response is: My, you think highly of yourself, I'd have to meet her but I'm pretty sure you think too highly of her, and yes, you have seen the light.

The basis for this thesis is that loftiest of sources - Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. For those of you who haven't played in a few years, let me refresh your memory. At the start of the game, you need to create a character. You only have a certain amount of points to allocate to your stats, so you can't have a super strong, super smart, and super charismatic character. You can be really good in one place, strong in two, or balanced in three. I'm sure you see where I'm going.

That was the theory in high school, at any rate. So there are a few corollaries that may be possible. On one hand, now that we are all maturing so some extent, maybe the attractive and smart, yet mean girls, have become nicer. And the smart and nice girls have learned how to be a little more attractive. Or, on the other, maybe we have learned to accommodate our deficiencies. Or maybe we just aren’t so shallow anymore.

Ultimately, we needed to get our brain juices flowing again. We don’t spend a lot of time in the car anymore, me being in DC and him being in NY, so think of this as priming the pump. We had some good things going in the car today on the way home from Chinatown, so maybe we’ll have some good things to talk about. Just ask Eve, and see what she says.

On an entirely separate note, go watch a movie at the Uptown in Cleveland Park in DC. I will never watch a movie at another theater again. I saw Good Night, and Good Luck, which was a good film. But the experience of the theater made it twice as good.